Hey all, and welcome to the first Health and
Fitness post of my blog! Now, I'm no doctor, homies. I'm only trying to
share all the things that I find work for me in this crazy world. Please
don't take this as any get-thin-fast weight loss advice. Like anything
in life, you have to work hard to achieve your goals, but that doesn't
mean you can't have fun along the way! SO START READING, AND HAVE FOR
FUN ALREADY, DAMMIT.
Tips
For (And From) the Modern Caveman will be updated once a week with a
new tip! I could try and cram them all here, but then it would be a WALL
OF TEXT and no one would read my shit. So stay tuned, kiddies!
Before
you start reading this: stop, get up from wherever you're sitting and
go find some food. Any food. Don't EAT the food, just go find it,
homies. If you're at home, go look in your pantry or your fridge; if
you're at college, head towards the nearest cafe; if you're out to eat,
well...look down at your plate.
If I had to venture to
guess, I'd say it didn't take you all that long to find yourself some
grub. Maybe it's your favorite slice of pizza ever; maybe it's the
dessert buffet at the Golden Corral (you piggie); maybe it's what your
mom is cooking for dinner tonight and it's making your house smell like
FEET. At any rate, the effort that YOU HAD to put into finding that
food? Let's face it: you spend more energy taking out the garbage.
That's
because in today's world of agriculture, convenience and take out, we
humans for the MOST part aren't doing as much work for our food as our
ancestors did...
...HISTORY LESSON! (Well, not really...but you may find it useful...)
Paleolithic man (in layman's terms, that's waaaay back in the DAY
when mankind started using stone tools 'n shit) had to work pretty hard
for his food. He was, you know, trapping birds and small game animals,
getting up at the ass-crack of dawn to hunt down larger game, finding
whatever berries and nuts and roots were growing out of the ground and
so on an so forth. When was the last time YOU killed your own cow to
make your hamburger, or dug around in the dirt for a potato? Huh?
Probably NEVER, that's right. Not that you should feel bad about it;
that's just the way our species has evolved: everything is about
convenience.
We've convinced ourselves that our lives
are too busy to eat healthy. We have too much to do that stop for an
hour or so and think about what we put in our bodies. BECAUSE DUCK DYNASTY IS ON! OH MY GOD WE HAVE TO GET TO A TV NOW!
Does
this sound like someone you know? Does it sound like YOU? Then keep
reading, because I'll point out a few things that not only won't be as
hard to try out as you think, but fool, they WORK!
Here's some background info on me first: I'm 5'6" tall and I'm a Florida resident and
native. This means I expel 90% of my body's supply of water by sweating
it out when I go to get the mail before noon. I have no car, so I pretty
much walk EVERYWHERE. I like walking. It's great exercise, it's fun, it
clears my head and it gives me a chance to really appreciate where I
live. I think I'll make that my first tip: START WALKING. See how much better your life gets!
Now
that you know a bit about me, I can explain that I am accustomed to
this sort of exercise and subsequent lifestyle. This won't work the same
for everyone, but it WILL WORK. You just have to put forth some effort.
Some of you live in colder climates, which can make it both easier and
harder to get around on your own to feets, or even find the types of
food I'm going to recommend. The point is not to adhere to these tips
directly; the point is to apply it them to your life in any way you can!
IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE FUN, GUYS.
So on to the Official First Tip: Become One With Your Inner Scavenger
Stop
to examine the ways you eat. Are you a fast food drive-thru-er? A
fridge dweller? A pizza orderererer? These methods of obtaining food are
not the best way to seek out nutrition to put into your body. You may
find good things in your fridge, but I bet your DROVE to the store to
buy them. You may order a small thin crust pizza but you DRIVE to pick
it up or even worse: have it delivered. And the drive thru is the
laziest invention ever!
Start small. Plan your next meal by deciding to walk to seek it out.
If you normally drive to get food on your lunch break at work, find
somewhere within walking distance and pick the healthiest thing on the
menu. Compile a list of what you want to eat, then walk to the store or
farmer's market to buy it, then find a nice setting like a park to eat
your meal. Or tell your family that you'll all be WALKING to the Golden Corral tonight.
Whatever your day looks like, if you can: walk to seek out your food.
This not only aids in your overall goal of weight loss, but it gives you
the satisfaction of seeking out a specific thing (i.e, the food) and
obtaining it for yourself. You WORKED to get there, you scavenger, you!
So
try that one out for starters and see what happens! If you want, you
could try it once a week and try to form a habit! I promise you, it'll
make you change the way you look at food! Suddenly that pizza doesn't
sound so great; I mean, who wants to hoof it home carrying a heavy-ass
greasy box? This simple first step may make you fundamentally change the
way you look at food!
Leave some comments, you cavemen!!!
~K
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